Title: Why I hate Him
You guys might be wondering… Why do Junsu and I fight all the time? Why in the world do the two of us always disagree in each other’s thoughts and opinions as soon as heard in Bigeaststation? Some have mistaken it for love. Those people are right. But, Junsu and I… No. It’s between… Well, you’ll figure it out.
You might want me to explain.
Since the day Lee Soo Man-sshi told us that a guy from America was joining our group, I was excited to the extent; I grew taller and taller… And taller. When Yoochun came through the doors of SM Entertainment, everyone else was disappointed, except me.
He had a sexy charm with a sexy accent to go with it. I was attracted to him. I just didn’t know how to put it in words.
Last year, the boys and I had a party with all our staff and Lee Soo Man-sshi as well in collaboration with our 5thAnniversary.
*pop*
“CHEERS!!” Screamed Jaejoong as he held up a glass of champagne. “TO OUR FIFTH ANNIVERSARY!!”
“CHEERS!!” Screamed all the other members including me. To my fifth year of clueless-ness.
*riiing*
Someone’s phone rang in the crowd which silenced everyone.
“SORRY!! That’s me.” Yunho immediately picked up the phone ringing in his pocket. Everyone kept on staring at Yunho who interrupted the cheerful atmosphere.
“Yoboyesaeyo? Ne? Ne? NE??!!!! OMO!!! OTDOKE?!!!” Everyone started giggling and snickering. Yunho said ‘otdoke’ like a girl! Everyone knew what he was talking about on the phone.
Yunho killed the call and put his phone back in his pocket.
“THAT WAS KEY, my dear Boys Over Flowers updater!! YIJUNG IS GOING TO DO THE 5 SECOND KILL ON GA EUL!! I KNOW IT!! DON’T DENY IT!!” Yunho suddenly screamed. He pointed to Jaejoong as he said it. Jaejoong hyung wasn’t really a fan of Boys Over Flowers. He just watched it so he could have some conversation with Hyunjoong afterwards.
“HYUNG!! PLEASE!! I WANT TO GO SEE BOYS OVER FLOWERS NOOWWW~~ THE SOEUL SCENE IS COMING UP AND—“
“ARE YOU SERIOUSLY THINKING OF DITCHING THE MOST IMPORTANT PARTY OF THE YEAR JUST FOR SOME ROMANCE TIPS?!!”
Yunho held his breath for awhile, possibly thinking of his answer.
“Yes.”
Jaejoong gave his famous death glare to Yunho.
“Please?”
“GO!!” Jaejoong said immediately. The word scared us all, well, me at least.
“THANK YOU HYUNG!! I LURVE YOU!!”
I swear, those two really act like the fans want them too, like a couple. Jaeho, Yunjae, whatever they call it.
“Wait for me, hyung!!”
“I want to see Kim Bum’s 5 second kill too!!”
“OH MY GOD, HE’S SO HOT!!”
“What the hell are you saying?! You’re a guy!!”
“HYUNG!! DON’T TAKE ALL THE PEANUTS!! LEAVE SOME FOR US!! IT’S ANTICIPATING FOR MORE THAN JUST YOU, YOU KNOW?!”
So, it was left with the rest of DBSK [minus Yunho], the furniture and the ice sculpture. Yes, Lee Soo Man hyung ran away too. To this day, I still can’t figure out how in the world do all of our staff, Lee Soo Man and Yunho fit into that small television room of the SM Entertainment headquarters.
“Guess it’s just us left.”
We let out a sigh in unison.
“Want to hear some new oyagi gags??!” Asked Junsu
“NO!!” The three of us did NOT want to hear any more of Junsu’s oyagi gags. The new ones weren’t as funny, and personally, I hate all of them. I’d rather go watch Yijung’s 5 second kill a million times. I bet the fans only laugh at his jokes because he’s ‘cute’.
“Fine… I’ll just—“His sentence seemed to be cut by himself because nobody was objecting to his idea at the moment [and that’s because he didn’t say it all out loud yet]. “You know what? On second thought, I want to talk to Yoochun hyung for a second. You guys don’t mind right?”
“Sure. As if we have anything better to do. Knock yourselves out. Just don’t expect us to carry you guys home.” Answered Jaejoong. The only thing I was thinking at that moment was: DON’T I GET ANY SAY IN THIS?!! It felt so wrong. Something’s up with those two, and I knew it there and then. But, stupid little me wouldn’t come up with the actual word or phrase for it.
Only now I know what the word is and I hate it: Yoosu.
“GREAT! Thanks, hyung.” Junsu dragged Yoochun’s body outside. Yoochun looked back for a second to wave at us before turning back to Junsu and making a face, asking him to let go. I wish Yoochun could have done one of his taekwondo kicks on Junsu’s arm as to let himself free.
Jaejoong fell into an empty plastic chair and slumped. “Yah, Changmin-ah. Don’t leave me okay?”
I didn’t hear him then, I just kept staring as Junsu and Yoochun walked through the doors. Even when the two left, I just kept watching, as if they were walking into infinity.
“Changmin?”
…
“CHANGMIN!!”
…
“YAH!!! SHIM CHANGMIN!!”
…
“Choikang Changmin?”
…
“ARE YOU DREAMING OF FOOD AGAIN?!!!”
I finally got to my senses at my second favorite word: food. [My absolute favorite is of course, Yoochun]
“Urm, hyung, I want to go get some fresh air. It’s kind of stuffy in here.”
“But—“
I walked away. Away towards where Junsu and Yoochun went to, to infinity. When I reached outside, possibly out of Jaejoong hyung’s sight, I heard the echo of his voice. “Nobody’s here. How can it be stuffy?”
Outside, I saw Yoochun’s scarf flying in the wind behind him just a turn away. I wanted to keep hidden, away from the two; I didn’t want them to see me, because they’d stop talking. I hid behind a tree. Up to this day, no one has accused me of eaves dropping. And, I compliment my slender body for that.
“Yoochun, hyung. I—I—“He couldn’t say it. He couldn’t admit it, admit that he’s abnormal.
“What is it, Junsu? Come on, get a grip already and spit it out! Why did you drag me here? If it weren’t for your very ducky butt distracting me, I couldn’t have kicked you! Plus, what if a fan catches us here?”
It’s true. His butt is very ducky-like. Just the fact that Yoochun actually considered kicking him made me happier.
“I LIKE YOU.”
“I like you, too, okay? A lot of people like you, and me. We’re celebrities. God, when will you come to reality?”
“I DIDN’T MEAN THAT KIND OF LIKE. I—I—L—Love… You.”
“Excuse me?”
“You’re so near me and you didn’t hear me? I LOVE YOU!”
“SHHH!! Not so loud, for goodness sake.”
“DON’T YOU BELIEVE ME?!”
“YES! Okay?! Geez. I—I—I’m just not so good at this whole confessing thing. It’s… awkward.”
That just broke my heart to pieces.
“Can… I... K—Kiss you, hyung?”
My legs got shaky. They nearly broke down on me. Until Yoochun spoke.
“Look. I—I’m not—I don’t like you that way, okay? Can’t we just stay friends, members of TVXQ?”
That got energy running through my veins again. I could just imagine the look on Junsu’s face.
Sad.
Quiet.
Dissapointed.
Upside down from what it used to be, what it should be.
“O—okay.” Said Junsu in a defeated tone.
“I can give you a hug though. What? Friends can’t hug?”
I turned just to see the hug but all I could see was that Yoochun’s scarf was out of sight.
“Hyung, I just want you to know that I will always love you, no matter what you say.”
Yoochun was silent.
I quickly walked back inside. I took a chair and sat next to Jaejoong who was playing with his Nintendo DS.
“GREAT! Even better than mama~” the voice was from the little box Jaejoong was holding in his hands. It was high pitched, foreign, English.
“Cooking Mama again?”
“Yeap.”
“What are you cooking?”
“Natto.”
“I’m hungry.”
“Me too. But, all the food’s gone. I’m guessing the Boys Over Flowers fans took it all away.”
“Damn.”
“HYUNG!! MINNIE!! WE’RE BACK!!” Junsu screamed as he ran to us.
I still hate Junsu. He said that he’d always love Yoochun. Unfortunately for him, I’m a member of TVXQ as well. I didn’t dare admit that I am as well abnormal, unlike him; I have an image to keep up that requires a lot of hard work. [I’m still pissed he stole my cute image.] So, yes, you now know why Junsu and I always fight, why I hate that duck-butt, singing, dancing, ‘cute’ Xiah Junsu.
Figured it out yet?
Title: One Happiness
Note: (Written in 2nd person)
The streets are buzzing with activity as you walk in a steady pace during this busy, yet strangely calming afternoon. The day’s destination was decided just last week as he had finally confirmed a day that was totally free for him, which was rare, considering how popular and well-known he was. As you continue walking down the street towards his shared home with his friends, dressed lightly but enough to hide who you might possibly be, you sigh happily at this small bud of happiness that you had managed to grasp six months prior to this day.
You remember it as if it were yesterday; you had just happened to be his fan, just happened to be into the band that he was in, and just happened to fall madly in love with him. But the day that you two had finally met had become the most memorable and happiest day in your life. You remember his confident smile and his distinctive voice, the leadership skill in him was truly remarkable, and you knew from that moment that you had fallen for him all over again.
A sweet smile graced your features as you begin to giggle in excitement at the fact that you were now venturing to his home to celebrate your six month anniversary together. Today would be the first time you’ve seen him in weeks, maybe even months, and the first time you’ll feel his presence in a long time. Sure, you hear his strong, protective voice almost every day during your daily night calls, but seeing him in person was entirely different. You think, as you walk across the doorstep, raising your index finger to press the small little doorbell, that you haven’t felt his touch in such a long time.
The door opens and you are quickly welcomed inside. As you walk onto the premises, you notice that none of his friends are home nor is his Arita-look-a-like manager either. However, you look up and smile at seeing his smiling face. He grabs your small hand and leads you into the living room, asking you to sit as he brings out the pre-prepared food that had been sitting, waiting for your arrival.
Teasingly, you ask, “Did Jaejoong-oppa make these?”
You see a faint hint of a blush on his tan cheeks as he loudly coughs, trying to hide the fact that they were obviously made by Jaejoong, before sitting down next to you and grabbing one of the well wrapped summer rolls. He dips it into the peanut sauce before devouring it, a satisfied look on his face at its taste.
Laughing to yourself at his rather cute, childish behavior, you also pick your own summer roll and dip it into the sauce before eating it slowly, savoring its taste. As the both of you begin to eat more of Jaejoong’s delicious dishes, the two of you start a simple conversation consisting of ‘how are you?’ or ‘what happened recently?’ although both of you knew the answers already.
Thinking about a new topic to bring up, an idea hits you, before you curiously ask, “Have you watched Boys Over Flowers yet?”
His head perks up in interest, revealing the fact that he did watch it (probably because Jaejoong was friends with Hyun Joong, you would think), but he doesn’t say anything that shows his excitement, only saying, “Yeah, I did. It’s pretty good.”
Your face lights up happily as you exclaim, “Oh, really, you think so too?” as if you were ready to get into a heated fandom discussion about it. You continue on, dreamily, “Lee Minho was a really awesome actor! He did really well as Goo Jun Pyo, plus he’s really handsome!!”
You turn to look at him expectantly, only to be faced with a very frightening death glare from him. You shrink back in response, now realizing what they meant when Yunho would most likely be the overprotective boyfriend and father. You see him turn his head away from you, probably to cool himself off for a little bit, as you get closer to him and wrap your arm around his.
“Yunho, I’m sorry, don’t be mad, please?” You ask, pleading for his forgiveness.
He turns to look at you, a much calmer expression on his face, as he replies, “It’s okay. Just as long as I know you love me the most.”
You stick your tongue out, almost shouting, “Of course I love you the most!”
He grins happily at you, glad to hear your strong love for him. He gets up from his seat on the couch and walks into the kitchen before bringing out two champagne glasses and the champagne bottle itself, fresh out of its ice bath like a newborn child from its first bath.
“Let’s go out onto the rooftop, shall we?”
Without a word, you obediently follow him onto the rooftop where you see the most gorgeous city view, the shining city lights glowing as a firefly would in a still night. Your eyes sparkle in amazement and you feel like a princess looking over her kingdom along with her prince, no matter how cliché that seemed.
Still gazing at the beautiful scenery, you don’t notice him walking from behind you, the two champagne glasses now filled champagne, as he politely offers you your glass. You gladly take it and lock eyes with him, your insides suddenly feeling like a warm, growing fire.
You speak first, “Happy six months, Yunho.”
The two of you clink your glasses together before each taking a sip of the cold liquid. He leans forward, whispering into your ear, his hot breath on your neck, “Happy anniversary,” before bringing your lips together for a kiss.
Title: The Importance of Being YunHo
ChangMin always wondered why a year ago JunSu kicked YooChun out of JaeJoong and YooChun's shared room one day and monopolized their eldest member for the rest of the day. Because they didn't have lock, JunSu even blocked the door to make sure that no one was able to disturb them, much to YooChun's dismay. YooChun was so irked about it, that he even composed a short one of a kind ballad about it, titled 'The day JunSu went bonkers and hijacked both my room and my roommate', also known as the hijack song amongst the members. Crazily enough, JaeJoong's only complain about the song was the fact that the word 'room' came before 'roommate', asking YooChun if he treasured the room more than the roommate. JunSu and YunHo were the only ones who often sung the song out loud, they even added some harmony into it. Their Japanese and Korean staffs could only mourn, because even though the melody was beautiful, the lyrics were pretty much disturbing.
They live and work together, keeping secret was almost impossible between them. Yet, weeks went by without explanation of JunSu's behavior that day. ChangMin was curious, but he figured that if JaeJoong and JunSu wanted to let him know about it, then he would know about it. He even sent them some signals, but his two oblivious hyungs misinterpreted his I'm-waiting-for-you-to-tell-me-so-please-won't-you-let-me-know-already stare as him being creepy. They said so in an interview and had asked him to stop doing that. Being a good dongsaeng that he is, he did stop. Besides, he was content enough knowing that YunHo and YooChun also had no clue whatsoever about the incident.
Then, a few months ago, while ChangMin and JaeJoong were happily doing their cooking experiment in the kitchen (if adding a splash of champagne, a generous dollop of wasabi and a pinch of rosemary in their instant ramen could be called experimenting), YooChun suddenly came out of nowhere with teary eyes and demanded to talk to JaeJoong in private. JaeJoong only looked forlornly at the sight of their half-cooked concoction for a few seconds before taking off his apron and left the rest of the cooking process in ChangMin's hand. Even though he understood why JaeJoong ditched him for YooChun, the fact that he was still the dark about the whole I-need-to-talk-to-JaeJoong-in-private thing annoyed the hell out of ChangMin. Their cooking time was something that was special to both of them, JaeJoong and ChangMin were the only ones who had the guts to add bizarre things to their ramen just for the sake of it. They even holding a trial with several brand and type of carbonated drinks once, to see which one made their ramen taste better and which one made it worst. Seeing that, JunSu asked what they have against a perfectly good ramen, while YunHo and YooChun wisely avoided the kitchen altogether.
He finished cooking their creation and brought it to the dinner table. Then, he dragged JunSu and YunHo off their computer game to interrogate them while he was eating. He needed to find out what was so important about this … thing. Unfortunately, his interrogation did not go well. YunHo was as clueless as he was and JunSu kept his lips tight.
"You'll know when it happens to you," was the only thing JunSu said before he went back to his game, dragging YunHo along with him.
Later that night, ChangMin changed the lyrics of 'The day JunSu went bonkers and hijacked both my room and my roommate' to 'The day YooChun-hyung used his tears to lure JaeJoong-hyung away from me'. JaeJoong complained about why YooChun's name came before his. JunSu and YunHo loved the latest version of that song, often mixing the two lyrics together while singing it out loud, they even added some ad-libs into it. YooChun only gave him an approving two thumbs-up as he listened to the modification. ChangMin felt a little bit sorry for their staffs though, who finally gave up all hope of seeing the ballad in one of their album.
Well, JunSu was right about one thing.
As ChangMin stormed down the corridor leading to their apartments, he now understood perfectly why. How could he been so blind? He should have seen it. After he entered their apartment, he wasted no time to spot JaeJoong watching a movie with the rest of the members in the living room.
"I need to talk to you," ChangMin stood right in front of his target, blocking the television screen from JaeJoong's vision completely.
"Eh?" Startled, JaeJoong looked up.
"Alone," deliberately ignoring the other three who were staring at him, ChangMin pulled JaeJoong up from the sofa. "Come on," he manhandled JaeJoong towards the direction of their doorway, "I can't talk in the house, we're going somewhere."
"But ..." JaeJoong started to protest, digging his heels on the carpet to stop both of them from moving.
"But what?" ChangMin raised his eyebrows, daring him to deny the demand after what had happened with JunSu and YooChun.
It seemed that JaeJoong finally saw the anxiety on ChangMin's eyes as his expression went softer. "I'll go with you, but my jacket is in my room, just let me get that okay?" He ruflled ChangMin's hair lovingly, being the caring big brother that he was. "And we'll take my car, I'll drive," his voice gave no room for an argument.
ChangMin could only nod because he didn't think that he could talk without showing his chaotic emotion. He was waiting for JaeJoong on the doorway when JunSu approached him.
"You'll be okay," without preamble, JunSu moved to hug him, "Talking with JaeJoong hyung helps a lot."
"I hope so," ChangMin grumbled. Even though JunSu can be so dense sometimes about certain thing, but ChangMin knew better than anyone that JunSu was a kind soul who could not bear to see the person that he loved suffered. He had to admit that the hug comfort him a little.
A warm hand landed on the small of ChangMin's back. "Are you ready?" Jacket-clad JaeJoong, complete with his black sunglasses was standing behind him. "YooChun and YunHo?" JaeJoong asked JunSu.
Letting go of ChangMin, JunSu titled his head towards the living room, "Still in there, I said I'll check on you guys to make sure that everything is alright. There's no need for all three of us to check on you."
"I don't know what time we'll be coming back," JaeJoong admitted, checking his pockets to make sure that he got his wallet and keys.
"Don't worry about it," JunSu assured him, "We'll take care of everything while you're gone."
~*~
The drive was spent in silence.
ChangMin tried to rearrange his thought, planning the best way on how to tell the whole thing. JaeJoong who was always so lively and talkative seemed to know that and made no effort to start a conversation, busying himself with humming the songs that came out of the radio. They arrived at the café that JaeJoong knew, and ChangMin was relieved to notice that because it was late, the place was quite deserted. They were ushered to one of the private rooms, probably because JaeJoong wanted to make sure that they got the privacy that they needed. It was scary how fangirls could pop out of the nowhere sometimes.
"Are you ready to order?" the waiter asked after they were seated. "We have a great selection of fresh cake and pastry."
"I want all of them," ChangMin said after scanning the menu and couldn't be bothered to make a decision. "One slice of everything."
He had to give the waiter a prop because the man didn't even flinch at the request.
"Yah," JaeJoong was always so amused when ChangMin was in his eating-machine mode, "Are you serious? There's must be more than 40 type of desert in here."
"47, Sir," the waiter helpfully provided the exact number.
ChangMin just shrugged. "You don't have to order anything. Try some of mine, or all of them, I don't mind."
JaeJoong could only smile in understanding. ChangMin knew his childish side rarely came out and his hyungs often make such a big deal out of it. But most of the time, they played along because even though they didn't say it out loud, he knew that the members missed spoiling him. Luckily, the café only served deserts, if not, ChangMin would have ordered all the foods too.
"What about the drinks, Sir?"
Before ChangMin could go in another crazy-order-mode, JaeJoong snatched the menu out of his hand and handed it back to the waiter. "Just two glasses of ice tea, please. And can you take out the desert five piece at a time, I don't think the table was big enough for all of our order."
"Certainly," the waiter retreated for a moment. Their drinks and first five cakes were served briefly.
The cakes disappeared in under eight minutes. They were on their second batch of cakes when ChangMin finally gathered the courage to start speaking.
"Do you know why I called you out?" Eyes focusing on his seventh cake, ChangMin waited for the answer.
"I have an idea," JaeJoong said, "Don't know if it's a hundred percent correct though."
"I …"ChangMin started to speak, but his mind suddenly went blank. So he closed his mouth and finished the cake.
"Let me guess," JaeJoong took a pity of him and helped him start, "Is it a girl problem?"
ChangMin looked up to make an eye contact, "Yes."
"Do you like her?" JaeJoong asked again.
"Yes." This is easy, ChangMin can do this.
"Does she like you back?"
Maybe it's not that easy. ChangMin closes his eyes for a second before facing his hyung again and sighed, "No."
"Because she likes someone else?"
His chest tightened and he could only stare at his chocolate gateau.
JaeJoong voice went softer, "Is it one of our members?"
He stared harder at the innocent piece of cake in front of him.
"ChangMin-ah." JaeJoong leaned forward, "Look at me."
He took a deep breath and did as he was told.
"Are you angry at YunHo for being the person that she likes?"
ChangMin should've been surprised with the accuracy of JaeJoong's deduction, but deep down inside, he knew that JaeJoong knew. Maybe because sometimes this hyung reminded him so much of his mother, who could read him like an open book.
"No, it's not that," he admitted, "I'm not angry at YunHo-hyung, I'm angry at myself."
"Wow, this is new," JaeJoong was taken-aback. "JunSu was angry at the girl, YooChun was slightly angry at YunHo and yet you are angry at yourself?"
That confirmed his suspicion that JunSu and YooChun did experience the same thing as he did. It was a simple logic really. Everyone in the group knew that if they had a love life problem, then they would go to JaeJoong, simply because he's the one with the most experience plus he grew up with eight sisters, thus he knew something about what women wanted. Liking a girl who like another member falls into JaeJoong's territory. There's one thing that he need to be sure of though, "Is JunSu-hyung's girl like YunHo-hyung too?"
"Yeah," JaeJoong stirred his tea with the straw, "Normally you would think that he wouldn't need my advice, right? JunSu would most likely give his feeling up because it's YunHo."
The fact that all of their problems were also caused by YunHo startled ChangMin a bit. He had thought that the cause of their problems might vary a bit.
"That's true." JunSu did treat YunHo as if he was his real big brother and he loved YunHo so much. The only one who was closer to him than YunHo were only JunHo and EunHyuk. ChangMin asked in wonder, "So, what did he need help with?"
JaeJoong seemed to contemplate on the pros and cons of telling ChangMin the whole story. "Oh well, I guess I can tell you all this because technically you are one of us now."
"One of us as in those who got dumped because of YunHo-hyung, you mean," ChangMin commented dryly.
JaeJoong grinned, "Yeah, that. Welcome to the club by the way."
ChangMin watched as the waiter cleared the table and put the new batch of cakes. "I don't want to be in this club."
"Too late, your application had already been processed and approved already. It's a lifetime membership. No way out now," JaeJoong informed him.
"That's sucks."
"Don't be so quick to judge, we do have some fun activities going on."
He waited until the waiter left before saying, "Back to the story hyung, you were going to tell me about JunSu's girl."
"Oh, that." JaeJoong went quite for a moment. "JunSu was always too kind and too pure for his own good, you and I know that, right?"
ChangMin did feel that, that was why he often teased JunSu, to toughen him up somehow. "For him to be angry at the girl, I find it very unusual."
Putting his elbows on the table, JaeJoong rested his chin on top of his hands. "This girl used JunSu to get close to YunHo, I don't know exactly how, but JunSu really felt for her."
"Is it the girl that he introduced to us sometime last year? The one with ponytail?" If ChangMin remembered correctly, there was this one girl that JunSu introduced at that time. She was pretty, but he didn't like her for some reason. He didn't know why the girl bothered him because she seemed nice enough.
"Yes, he even asked her to be his girlfriend, and she said yes."
That was new, ChangMin never heard of this before. "JunSu-hyung never told us that they were an item."
"It was because they were not. Not at that moment anyway." JaeJoong sighed, "The same day that they were official was also the day JunSu found out about the girl's motive."
"Ah … that was when he locked himself with you." ChangMin got the picture now.
JaeJoong took his straw out of the glass and started chewing on it. ChangMin recognized it as a sign that his hyung was troubled by what had happened. "Yes, JunSu accidentally read her diary."
"Wait, what do you mean with 'accidentally read her diary'?"
"She went to the toilet, asked JunSu to hold her bag and our clumsy JunSu dropped it. The content of her bag spilling out, her diary opened at the right page," JaeJoong elaborated on the details.
The nerve of some people. "That girl is either extremely stupid or exceptionally arrogant."
"My vote was for stupid." JaeJoong snickered.
"Me too," ChangMin agreed wholeheartedly.
JaeJoong sighed again, "Anyway, JunSu was devastated, but he figured that I'm the best person to talk about it."
That actually made sense. "I can see that. If he told YunHo-hyung, the girl is practically history. He wouldn't care that she was a girl. If he told YooChun, well, same case as YunHo-hyung. If he told me … I would have called him stupid and have him end the relation right there and then."
JaeJoong rolled his eyes, "Yes, Captain Obvious, but you know JunSu, even though he was angry at her, he wouldn't have the heart to do that. He asked me how to break up with her without hurting her feelings."
Without a doubt, ChangMin knew that JunSu must have talked about it with JunHo too, but unfortunately, JunSu's twin brother was as pure as JunSu. So asking for JaeJoong's help was the best course of action in this situation. "JunSu-hyung is an idiot. If she didn't love him, then her feelings wouldn't be hurt."
JaeJoong pinched his cheek softly. "He's not an idiot, he's our idiot. Don't forget that."
Smiling, ChangMin caught JaeJoong's hand and pushed it away from his cheek. "Okay, JunSu-hyung is our idiot."
"Beside the matter of the heart is not that simple, especially for us. Not to mention, if JunSu did break up with her that day, knowing her twisted personality, she might just decide to make some tragic love story between her and cold-hearted JunSu, who dumped her just a day after they were together and posted it on the internet."
Netizen was a force to be recon with. He didn't think that far. "That … could be messy."
"ChangMin-ah, women are dangerous, especially a scorned one. Don't forget that. Not even for a second." JaeJoong was serious, ChangMin could see it in his eyes.
"I understand."
JaeJoong frowned at the memory. "Breaking JunSu up with her was not my biggest concern though."
"Huh? What then?"
"Keeping her away from YunHo was."
No wonder JaeJoong was their relationship expert, there were some details that ChangMin couldn’t think of even if he wanted too. "Ah …"
"She doesn't love him, so breaking them up will be very easy, but now she had unlimited access to YunHo, via JunSu."
"JunSu-hyung is too good for her." Sometimes ChangMin felt like banging JunSu's head against a wall, just to make him realize just how precious he was.
"Obviously," JaeJoong concurred.
ChangMin didn't know if the waiter had a built-in radar or not, but he was always appears at the right time, bringing five plates of fresh pastries this time. The conversation naturally stopped when he was there.
"How do you do it then?" ChangMin asked when the waiter was gone.
"Do what?"
"Breaking JunSu-hyung up with the girl and keeping her away from YunHo-hyung."
JaeJoong tapped his fingers on the table. "Well, we make sure that none of you knew that JunSu was together with her, so every time she asked him to bring a member, I'll go with them. I can't let her have access to you and YooChun too, because it could get ugly, we just told her that you guys are too busy."
That makes sense. JunSu was afraid what the members would do to her if they found out about it. "With what?"
"YooChun with composing, you with learning how to play a guitar and YunHo with this new girl that he was after."
"But at that time YunHo-hyung didn't have …" ChangMin trailed off, "Oh … that's the plot to keep her away from YunHo-hyung. Well done, hyung."
JaeJoong grinned in satisfaction, "As we expected, the girl was shaken up. Then we made this whole story about how wonderful YunHo's girl was. She was practically an angel who had just fallen from the sky. Know thy enemy. You need to remember that as well."
"Got it. Scorned women are dangerous and know your enemy." ChangMin recited the lesson. "Does it really work though?"
"Well, because we have our activity, JunSu practically ignored her for weeks after that and she never really reached out to him anyway, so the next time they meet, they broke up naturally. It was their hundredth day anniversary. JunSu really really like her though. He was so sad about whole thing." JaeJoong's eyes gave away his emotion. He must have been so worried about JunSu.
"I can't say that I'm not happy about it, but if it makes JunSu-hyung sad …" ChangMin sympathized with his hyung.
"That's okay. We just need to find the perfect girl for JunSu," JaeJoong smiled gently.
Not that ChangMin was objecting to the idea, but there was a slight problem with that. "Hyung, not to be smart-ass or anything, but don't you think that we need to find our perfect girls first before we find one for JunSu-hyung?"
Seeing the flaw in his plan, JaeJoong nodded in agreement and sighed. "True."
ChangMin let JaeJoong take the apple pie and watched him eat the whole thing. "What about YooChun-hyung's girl?"
"Well, this one is a little bit better than JunSu's," said JaeJoong.
In all fairness, it was hard to top JunSu story. "Better how?"
"YooChun's girlfriend loved him when they were together."
Thinking back, ChangMin remembered the nunna, she was a very direct person who had a bright smile. He liked her, she was fun to be around. "How did YunHo-hyung come into the picture?"
"Well, the girl spent a lot of time with us, right?"
The group met her several times because they like spending time together with her. They even introduced her to their family. "She did. I do feel a little bit disappointed when YooChun hyung broke up with her." But it was YooChun's decision, so ChangMin didn't say anything about it.
"Well, they had no option but to break up."
"Because she liked YunHo-hyung?"
"Yeah. She told YooChun that she did love him, but gradually fell in love with YunHo. She didn't want to deceive YooChun, so she asked for forgiveness and wanted to break up," JaeJoong enlightened him.
That was unexpected. "Wow. That's very … honest of her."
"She didn't pursue YunHo either after they broke up, because she knew that it would hurt YooChun. She valued their friendship and didn't want to come between them," added JaeJoong.
ChangMin respected the nunna, it must have been hard to make that kind of decision. "I like her."
"So did YooChun," JaeJoong remarked wryly. "That's why he was angry at YunHo for being charming enough to make that girl fall in love with him."
ChangMin snickered, "He had no one to blame but himself for being out-charmed by our leader."
"You know, this is why people won't talk about their love life with you. ChangMin-ah, you're too sarcastic." JaeJoong reprimanded him thoughtfully. "Human hearts are a fragile thing. YooChun was crying harder than I've ever seen him cry before. He really thought that she was the one, you know? Even some the songs that he composes right now are still inspired by her."
Chagrined, ChangMin apologized, "Sorry hyung, but we know how romantic YooChun-hyung is." Compared to YunHo, YooChun definitely has more romantic bones in his body. If the other member had a problem with being romantic, then YooChun was the member to talk to. He was the master of romance in their group.
"You cannot decide who you would fall in love with. I bet she didn't want to fall for YunHo, but she did anyway."
If he was in YooChun's position, ChangMin would be very upset too. "That's too bad for YooChun-hyung."
"Yeah. YooChun doesn't really need my help with this, but he needed someone to talk about it, so he grabbed me. In YooChun's case, well …" JaeJoong stopped when the waiter come in to replace the empty plates.
"Did he do something stupid?" ChangMin asked.
Shaking his head, JaeJoong take a sip of his tea. "Not stupid, but you know how YooChun is. When something was bothering him, he got … creative. It's his coping mechanism."
ChangMin recalled the hijack song and couldn't agree more. "Oh, what did he do?"
"He rewrote 'Boys Over Flowers' and made me listen to all of it." JaeJoong grinned at the memory.
That ... was interesting. "Now I'm curious."
"Well, keep in mind that he was heart-broken at that time," JaeJoong reminded.
"Keeping it in mind," ChangMin promised.
"Basically, you, me, JunSu and YooChun are the N4 of the SM academy," JaeJoong started the story.
ChangMin watched the drama before, so he noticed the inconsistency right away. "N4? Isn't it supposed to be F4?"
"Well … like I said, YooChun got creative."
True enough, when YooChun was in one of his mood, his imagination run wild.
Very wild.
"Did he make YunHo-hyung as the girl then?"
"Nope, this is not a romantic story, more like a very out of this world original story. We got to keep our own reproductive organs," JaeJoong assured him.
"Okay …" ChangMin didn't find the revelation reassuring though.
JaeJoong continued, "So, we, the N4 are basically a bunch of good-looking guys with an obsession towards all kind of nuts. Almonds, hazelnuts, Brazil nuts, cashews, pecans, peanuts, macadamias, pine nuts, pistachios, walnuts, and so on. I think YooChun pretty much mentioned all the nuts that he knew."
He had a bubble of laughter coming out from his stomach. "It's … it's … 'Boys Over Nuts', right? That's why it was N4."
JaeJoong corrected him, "Actually, it's 'Nuts Over Boys', because above all things, we like nuts. Or is it 'Nuts Over Girls'?" JaeJoong pondered for a few seconds. "I can't remember, not that it matters. Anyway, our motto is 'We're nuts about nuts'. Creative enough for you?"
ChangMin had a hard time keeping himself from laughing, "YunHo-hyung?"
"YunHo is the new guy in the academy. He wanted to be part of N4 because he wanted to be cool like us, but tragically he was allergic to nuts."
It was a losing battlefield really, ChangMin laughed out loud. His hand and feet pounding the table and the floor. Oh, how he adored YooChun. "So ... so ... he cannot join the N4?"
JaeJoong waited until ChangMin's laughter subsided. "He tried his best, but he always ended up in a hospital getting an anti-histamine shot up his … behind. I forget how many times, but it was a lot. We like him a lot, but hey, we're the N4, to be one of us you have to be able to eat nuts. We told him that we would take him as our mascot because we were nice like that, but he refused. He said that he's going to be one of us the right way."
ChangMin had tears on his eyes now. "Oh, this is gold. YooChun-hyung should make this into a novel."
"Maybe if you asked him nicely, he would show it to you." JaeJoong winked at him.
"He wrote a novel about it?"
"Coping mechanism. Either that or another ballad titled 'Give me 10 reasons why do you leave me for YunHo-hyung?', which can be bad because then YunHo would find out about it. It's easier to hide a novel than a song," JaeJoong explained.
ChangMin understood YooChun's desire to protect YunHo, leader-sshi would feel guilty knowing that he was the cause of YooChun's sadness even though he was not at fault. "Not bad. Maybe I should do one too."
JaeJoong was intrigued. "A novel?"
"Yeah. A creative one like YooChun's hyung. I could do 'Coffee Prince' or 'Bleach' or 'Nodame Cantabile'. It would make me busy for a while." ChangMin really liked the way YooChun thinks, direct all the negative energy to make something silly.
JaeJoong smiled at his enthusiasm. "So, you're ready to tell me your story?"
Hearing what had happened to his other hyungs helped ease his pain a bit. ChangMin had to admit that it also made him more ready to talk to JaeJoong about his problem. "I guess I do."
"I'm listening," told JaeJoong.
ChangMin decided to go straight to the point. "There's this girl I've been seeing."
"Are you together?"
He sighed at the question. "I hope so. I mean, I like her. She's sweet and she's my ideal type you know. A little clumsy but always gives her best in everything that she does."
"Sounds charming." JaeJoong approved.
"Well yeah, besides the fact that she was YunHo-hyung's die-hard fan," he dropped the bombshell.
JaeJoong's eyebrow went up, "Oh?"
"She never used me to get close to him though, although she mentioned how much she loved him plenty times in front of me."
"Well, at least you know from the start right?"
ChangMin had no one else to blame but himself for the predicament that he was in. "I thought she only liked him as a fan, you know? So I took my chances and asked her to be my girlfriend. I really like this girl, hyung." ChangMin truly believed that he could make her his. "Then she said that she liked me as a friend, as a big brother, not as a lover."
"Ouch," JaeJoong winced in sympathy.
"Ouch indeed."
"So, why are you angry at yourself for it?" JaeJoong asked.
He was angry at many things, but mostly, "I'm angry because for a moment I wished YunHo-hyung was not such a good person so I can deck him at least once. I'm angry because when she said that she couldn't be with me, I'm not mature enough and said things that hurt her." ChangMin could feel his emotion rising as each words come out of his mouth.
"ChangMin-ah …" softly, JaeJoong called him.
"Hyung, I don't know why I'm being such a detestable person. I don't know that I'm capable of doing this, it makes me sick," ChangMin's voice went quitter as he confessed what bothered him the most.
JaeJoong reached out to grab ChangMin's hand. "ChangMin-ah, love makes us do crazy stuff."
The reassurance was not good enough. "That's just an excuse hyung,"
"You're being too hard on yourself. You have to give yourself some slack. There were times when I wished I could deck one of you," JaeJoong told him.
He couldn't picture JaeJoong as being that violent. "Really?"
"Yeah. When JunSu is being too overly noisy, when Yunho is in the bathroom for too long, when YooChun couldn't function properly in the morning and when you go all grown-up on us. I want to hit you guys as hard as I can. But the important thing is that I didn't do that."
"But that's different." They live together, breathing the same air. Sometimes it could get stuffy, but they had learned that they complete each other.
"No, it's not. There were times when we feel that we couldn't stand each other, but that's just it. It's just a feeling, not the reality. The reality is that we accept each other for what we are. Flaws and all."
"I made her cry, hyung." Well, she had tears in her eyes and that equals crying in ChangMin's book. His ignorance had caused that. He didn't realize that those words could hurt her that much. He disappointed his mother, his members and himself by doing that.
"Then you will apologize to her. Tell her that you didn't mean what you said and you better hope that she forgive you," advised JaeJoong.
"I don't know if I have the courage to do that." He didn’t know whether he could face her again, after hurting her like that.
But, JaeJoong was persistent. "Yes, you do. I'll go with you if I have to. But you will apologize to her, okay."
ChangMin had no choice but to agree. "Okay."
She deserved the apology and ChangMin would not deny her that.
"What did you say to make her cry anyway?" JaeJoong suddenly asked.
"Eh?" ChangMin did not expect that question.
"It's okay, you can tell me. I won't judge you."
It was not JaeJoong's judgment that worried him. ChangMin swallowed nervously. "You have to promise that you won't be mad at me."
"ChangMin-ah ..." the warning in JaeJoong's voice was not hard to miss. It seemed that he knew something was wrong.
"I just told her that YunHohyungwouldonlygooutwithagirlwhoisprettierthanyou."
"What was that? YunHo would only go out with a girl who is prettier than me?"
Sometimes ChangMin cursed the fact that JaeJoong had such an excellent hearing. This was one of those times. "Well, that's the line that I always use to deter any unwanted pursuer."
"You what?"
"Hyung ... do you know how many girls that try to get into our members' pants through me?" Just because ChangMin was the youngest and he was very shy towards the opposite sex, some people tried to take advantage of that.
"Huh?"
It was not like he was enjoying saying it, but a man got to do what a man got to do. "Nothing as effective as saying 'Oh, my hyung would only hug a girl who has smaller waist than JaeJoong-hyung' or 'my hyung would only kiss a girl who is cuter than JunSu-hyung'. They give up almost immediately."
"But ... but ..." JaeJoong started to protest.
Okay, maybe ChangMin enjoyed the way JaeJoong looked when he was telling his hyung this. "If that doesn't work, well 'girls who are more fun than YooChun-hyung' or 'girls who are as charismatic as YunHo-hyung' should get rid of the rest'."
"Yah, you little ..."
"Before you cursed at me, let's think about it logically. Would you like me to use one of your attributes to get rid of those pesky girls or would you like those same girls calling you 24/7 and sending you love letters everyday." ChangMin couldn't say that he had never used the same tactics to get rid of his own problems too,
JaeJoong looked at him in frustration. "That was beside the point. You know how I hate it when people call me pretty."
ChangMin acknowledge that it was very juvenile of him to do that, but he was inexperienced and he had to admit that most of those girls scared him. "Well, how do you propose getting rid of them then? Honestly, hyung, I don't know what else to do."
That shut JaeJoong up because he knew that ChangMin was not lying when he said that.
ChangMin had to change the direction of their conversation quickly, "Anyway, back to my problem. How do you propose I apologize to her?"
Deciding to face the problem at hand first, JaeJoong offered his suggestion, "Saying sorry would be a good start. Say that you didn't mean what you say, it's just you being a sarcastic little brat."
"Yah!"
"What, that's an apt description, right?" JaeJoong dared him to deny that.
ChangMin couldn't. Because the reality was, he was being a sarcastic little brat. He sighed, "So, what about you? Have you liked a girl who liked YunHo-hyung?"
"You know how close I am to YunHo, right? So, yeah, some of them fall for YunHo after I introduce them," JaeJoong shrugged his shoulder.
ChangMin always appreciate how honest JaeJoong was. "You're okay with that?"
"Let's put it this way. If she's going to be with me, she's going to be around my members too. So, if the girl couldn't love me and only me after meeting you guys, then she's not the one for me." JaeJoong rationalized.
However, ChangMin knew that it caused JaeJoong pain too. "Hyung ..."
"I'm fine." JaeJoong assured him, "Most of them fall for YunHo's image anyway, they didn't know the real YunHo like we do. When I talk about how cute he was, they wouldn't even believe it, saying that I'm lying. Because in their eyes, YunHo is the manly leader who took care the rest of us like a father figure. They couldn't see the real charm of YunHo who always pouts when he couldn't get what he wanted, or the scary YunHo who always use his dialect when he was angry, or the forgetful YunHo who always confused between his cellphone and mine ..."
"Or the squeamish YunHo-hyung who screams like a girl when he saw that cockroach," ChangMin added.
"That too," JaeJoong grinned at the memory. YunHo was not actually scared of cockroaches, but he was sleepy and the bug crawled on top of his foot. Not to mention, YooChun just took him out to see a horror movie about killer bugs the night before. He was startled by it, just that one time, but the rest of his members wouldn't let it go for the rest of his lives.
ChangMin sighed in envy, "It's must be nice to be YunHo-hyung. Girls just loved him."
Sensing the melancholy in his voice, JaeJoong told him, "ChangMin-ah, there are girls who believe that YunHo is the perfect guy and when they wouldn't accept the fact that he had weaknesses. They only see him as a conquest, a trophy to be won. Being YunHo is not all that fun, you know. The same thing can be said to all of us too."
Talking with JaeJoong had opened his eyes to so many things that he had never thought before.
JaeJoong added, "Even YunHo knows that. You would think that YunHo can get any woman that he wants, right?"
"He's not?"
"There was this girl that he liked once, well, she liked another member."
ChangMin was intrigued, "Are you going to tell me which member?"
"That's for me to know and for you to find out."
Even though JaeJoong sucks at keeping secret, but there are some things that you couldn't pry from him no matter what.
JaeJoong played with the rings on his fingers. "Against my advice, and because YunHo is our other idiot, he introduced her to the member that she liked. Luckily they didn't get together, but if they did, YunHo would be hurt every time he sees them together."
There was little doubt in ChangMin's mind that JaeJoong must have done something to make sure that the girl and the member not work out. "Well, I always suspect that YunHo-hyung is an M anyway." But YunHo was their M and ChangMin admired him for doing that. "By the way, hyung, how many idiots are there in our group?"
JaeJoong smiled sardonically, "Sadly, when it comes to love, we have five."
"Thought so." Any other time, ChangMin would take an offense on the implication that he was an idiot. But unfortunately, he felt the same way about the subject.
~*~
The next day, YunHo announced during breakfast that they have a new version of the hijack song. Courtesy of the three members who were left behind in the apartment the day before. The title was 'We make crazy songs every time one of us monopolizes JaeJoong'. They made it into an R&B version, complete with rap, beat box and even dance move. The new lyrics were not pale in comparison to the previous two. JaeJoong, the harshest critic of that particular song, complained once more, asking why his name was put at the end and not the front. YunHo informed him that they were going to name the song 'The day ChangMin finally succumbed to JaeJoong's curse and kidnapped him', but they changed it because they didn't want to be at the receiving end of JaeJoong's death glare as ChangMin's name was in front of JaeJoong's. JunSu pointed out how nice they were for doing it. The five of them spent the rest of breakfast bickering about the definition of 'nice'.
After they finished their schedule for that day, YunHo took ChangMin to the apartment's balcony for a private talk.
"I'm glad that you're okay now," YunHo said straight away. "You worried me last night."
ChangMin knew that he was so out of character previous night and YunHo was concerned about him. That was why he decided to tell YunHo as much truth as he could. "Talking to JaeJoong-hyung helps."
"I know," YunHo smiled. "I know that there are things that you could only talk to certain people about and I respect that, but I'm here for you if you need me, got it?"
How did YunHo feel when his member would only talk to JaeJoong instead of him despite him being the leader? It was a question that ChangMin had pondered before. But now ChangMin knew the answer. YunHo knew his own limitation and embraced that. "Thank you, hyung."
"I don't know whether this is the right thing to say or not, but I just want you to know this." YunHo stared at the city below them, his arms rested on the railing of their balcony. "We always said we were lucky to be in this group. But the fact is, being in a group does have its ups and downs."
ChangMin wasn't sure where YunHo was going, "What are you saying?"
"There are five of us in this group. Five different individuals with five different appeals." YunHo turned his head to look straight at ChangMin's eyes. "People from the outside can't help but to compare us, and sometimes, sometimes they can make you believe their judgment."
JaeJoong didn't tell YunHo, of that ChangMin could be sure of. But it did not come as a surprise to him that YunHo noticed what his problem was. Hell, he bet that even YooChun and JunSu knew what it was. Albeit, they might not know which member he had problem with. "Hyung ..."
"None of us are better or worst than the other, ChangMin-ah. We are the way we are. If people can't accept you for that, then it's their loss," YunHo told him, "But you have to show them the real you. If not, how can they know you?"
ChangMin couldn't decided whether he liked being so transparent or not. He didn't talk about this with JaeJoong because he knew the answer to that problem already, but ChangMin just didn't want to face it at that time. He had an inkling that JaeJoong knew about and didn't push it because he was waiting for ChangMin to say it with his own mouth.
One other reason why he was angry at himself was because he didn't have the courage to say he could make her happier than YunHo. He didn't have the confidence. Out of respect and love towards his leader, ChangMin couldn't bring himself to say those words.
But maybe that was the problem. After all, all's fair in love and war.
Hearing all those things from YunHo made him realized that he had been holding back. If the girl liked someone else beside YunHo (or his other members for that matter), ChangMin would not hesitate to give his best to make the girl fall for him instead.
"Thanks, hyung," ChangMin said. "I needed that." He would try again. And this time, he will put everything on the line.
"You're welcome." YunHo gave him a firm squeeze on the shoulder.
They stayed at the balcony and enjoyed the night view, talking about anything and everything when suddenly the sliding door opened. They turned around to see YooChun stand right behind them
"Dinner's ready," YooChun told them. "Have you finished your father and son conversation?"
YunHo grinned, "Why? Is my oldest son jealous?"
Pouting, YooChun suddenly went to a full aegyo mode. "You love ChangMin more than me. I feel so unloved."
"Eh?" JunSu appeared from the living room. "Who loved ChangMin more than you?"
"This hyung," YooChun pointed his finger toward YunHo accusingly.
"Don't worry," JunSu consoled the disgruntle YooChun, dismissing YunHo in the process, "We have another hyung in the kitchen. He can cook, clean and do pretty much everything. We don't need this one."
"Yah!" YunHo yelled. "I'll show you guys how much I love you," he crackled his knuckles menacingly, but his grin betrayed the threatening tone of his voice.
Sensing danger, YooChun and JunSu run towards the kitchen, laughing and screaming for help at the same time. YunHo was not far behind them, ready to catch and give them all the tender loving care that they needed.
ChangMin could only shake his head as he watched YunHo giving YooChun a crushing bear hug after he finally caught him. Later on, YooChun let out a pitiful moan when he felt to the ground, YunHo had left him to hunt for JunSu. Their mental age was something that always confused ChangMin. They can be perfectly mature twenty one to twenty three years old males in one moment, and then changed into bunch of five years old in a second. Nevertheless, as he saw JunSu beg for mercy while YunHo spun him around and JaeJoong scolded the three of them for playing around near the dinner table, ChangMin couldn't help but smile. They made him happy beyond reason.
He wouldn't have them any other way.
The End
